Disclaimer: this article contains a lot of tongue-in-cheek humour that’s not to be taken seriously. And if I know anything about the internet, there are people out there who will take this tongue-in-cheek humour the wrong way. Readers are advised to concentrate on enjoying the article, rather than seeing it as a judgemental critique of humankind!
If you’re anything like me- particularly the bit about being on the autism spectrum- you may have trouble getting hints. You may prefer (and even naturally expect) people to:
- Say what they mean
- Mean what they say.
Unfortunately, the general population has a peculiar tradition of using words that don’t match their thoughts. Sometimes they are even known to say the complete opposite of what they mean (even in a non-sarcastic sense), with the expectation on us to interpret the thoughts in their head, rather than the words from their mouth.
But worry no more! Today I bring you a short translation project, which should help some of you navigate the (figurative) waters of people’s non-literal words.
So, here we go!
No doubt there are a hundred I missed. Feel free to share them in the comments!
Chris Bonnello / Captain Quirk-
Guerrillas, a near-future dystopia novel where the heroes are teenagers with special needs, is available to fund now through Unbound Publishing. A character-driven war story which pitches twelve people against an army of millions, it balances intense action with a deeply developed neurodiverse cast.
Chris Bonnello is a national and international autism speaker, available to lead talks and training sessions from the perspective of an autistic former teacher. For further information please click here (opens in new window).
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